If you want to learn how to be gay in a straight man’s body, you have to first accept the fact that you aren’t really attracted to men. What you are really attracted to is your sense of self and your instincts for self-preservation. You are attracted to the knowledge that you will be protected by God in this world, that you will never be hurt, and that all life is sacred. Those things do make you gay, but not the ones that men think those things would make you if you were gay. Those things are illusions that men try to impose on their hearts and minds.
Many people who say that being gay is an illusion don’t know how to be gay at all. A pioneer of modern queer studies claims to say that being gay is merely a way for men to be who they really are. How to be gay is a question about which there should be no answers because it is not a matter of identifying with any particular cultural identity or practicing any specific sexual orientation. Being gay is instead a matter of individual introspection, of deciding to follow your own passions, of seeing yourself as an individual, without accepting other people’s judgments of you based on your sexual behavior.
One major component of queer theory is the idea of the dissimilarity between what people in the old days believed was “queer” and what today is considered “normal”. Old-fashioned masculinity revolved around identifying with the role of the hunter in ancient times. Gayness then, was considered an aberration, an unconventional behavior. Today, the idea of queering has to do with being comfortable with one’s sexuality and, perhaps more importantly, with the fact that some things simply just don’t change.
The openness that characterizes a person’s sexual sensibility is what he identifies as his gay identity. Some people may refer to their sense of sensuality as a form of self-dignity, while others see it as a gift that they have to learn to understand and accept. In this sense, gay culture is best understood when we consider it as a form of expression. It can be seen as a challenge to those who maintain the notion that “normal” must be better than “abnormal”.
To be gay is to identify with a different way of thinking about, being with someone who match your sexual preference and/or gender identity, and expressing your sexuality through clothing, expressions, behavior, crafts or art. Those who identify as queers often say that being unique is the most important part of their personality; however, at the same time, they claim a very fluid identity where their sexual orientation changes from time to time. For many people, being gay is not only about their sexuality but also about their sense of self and their place in the world.
This is how to be gay: Being unique in a sense that puts you at the forefront of new social trends while at the same time exploring and acknowledging your own identity as a gay male culture. This is the same-sex attitude that is found in drag queens. They say that there are no rules when it comes to loving men and women. In short, it’s a practice.